Things that go ouch in the night

Rural Queensland is full of things that can kill you. Topping the list of these fatality-producing fiends are those silent bringers of death – snakes and spiders. And then we have carnivorous beetles, aggressive lizards and wild dogs. Take your pick. Admittedly the beetles, lizards, and possibly dogs won’t kill you, but it does go to show that life in a rural community is considerably dangerous.

And then there’s the people. Enough said, am I right?

But there’s also the flip-side of rural life. The rustic furniture, the peace and quiet, the wineries, the gourmet food, the banjos.

But I have to ask: Is it all worth the risk when a funnel-web leaps out from under the microwave when you’re trying to make a midnight snack? Or when you go out to hang out the washing and there’s an Eastern Brown snake lazing an inch from your foot?

As a former city person, I obviously ask too many questions. Like, why are there so many spiders?  and, why is it so cold? and, No, seriously – why are there so many spiders?

Why am I so focussed on the arachnids, you ask? Well let’s just say there have been incidents. Many incidents…But moral of the story is that you should always check your shoes. And any clothes that have been on the clothes line. And anything that hasn’t. And anything that’s been in the cupboard. And anything that hasn’t.

Oh yeah, and check pretty much anything that you need to touch, eat, drink or look at.

And especially, check any underwear.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you, people.

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