“I see you have your cranky pants on today” was the expression, I believe. I chose not to engage with the statement, but did throw a cream bun at my lovely bestie to show my dissatisfaction with her remark.
I know I’m not super-happy-awesome all the time, but just because I don’t generally like a lot of specific things, doesn’t mean I’m cranky. It just means I am more discerning than most people.
But nevertheless, alone with my thoughts at the end of the day, I had to ask myself, Am I wearing cranky pants? Almost immediately, I heard a little voice saying, Are you serious? You’re wearing the whole outfit, babe.
Right. But before I got carried away and ate the last of the cream buns to blot out that voice again, I decided I should do a quick self-check. Just to make sure it wasn’t the neighbour talking to her dog or something.
So my self-check went like this:
- Am I more inclined to ask, “Did your last brain cell get lost while you were on the loo?” than, “You seem to be experiencing some difficulty. How can I help?” YES
- Am I confused that people born in 1985 are seriously 32 years old? YES
- Do I think that sleepwalking is just a convenient excuse for people to eat all the chocolate and blame it on a “real condition”? YES
- Am I more inclined to ask, “Are your parents siblings?” than, “You seem to be experiencing some difficulty. How can I help?” YES
- Does everything hurt, and do I feel the urge to tell people all about it while they’re trapped in supermarket queues? YES And while we’re on the subject of supermarkets, are the prices are too damned high? YES
- Is my trolley is full of things like breath mints and TV dinners instead of superfoods and tanning lotion? YES
- Am I more inclined to ask, “We’re really scraping the bottom of the gene pool with you, aren’t we?” than “I’m sorry, I don’t agree.” YES
- Is it just me, or are people actually worse at driving than they used to be? Uh, I’d prefer not to answer, because you might hurt me.
So , I guess have my cranky outfit on then after all.
Now, where did I put those cream buns?