Conversation between me and my brain

Me: It’s 11pm. Could you be a bit quieter please?

Brain: No way, we need to think about all the stuff that might happen in the next week.

Me: We can plan a bit, but it’s really important that we get some sleep.

Brain: Yeah, sure. But what if you lose your job tomorrow?

Me: I won’t lose my job tomorrow.

Brain: You sure? It’s happened before. And what about how you ate a bit of Pete’s cake? The one his wife made him for his birthday.

Me: They can’t sack me for that.

Brain: Yes they can. That’s theft.

Me: You think? That’s pretty bad. Maybe I should be worried.

Brain: Yep, you totally should be. Imagine if they drag you out in front of everyone. Imagine Pete’s face. He loved that cake.

Me: Then he should have eaten it, not left it sitting there in the staff fridge for everyone to salivate over.

Brain: Poor Pete. He was just saving it for the afternoon. He’s had a pretty rough time, hasn’t he?

Me: Yeah. I shouldn’t have eaten his cake. Now I feel terrible.

Brain: You should.

Me: ….

Brain: …..

Me: Is it time for bed?

Brain: Nope. That paint’s a nice colour isn’t it?

Me: …

Brain: Are you cold? I’m cold. Maybe we should get up. We didn’t go on the treadmill today. Maybe you should do that now.

Me: I’m not doing it now.

Brain: What about the cake you ate? You should work that off.

Me: Not now. I’m tired.

Brain: I’m not. Don’t you love pickles?

Me: …

Brain: I mean, they are all green and bumpy. What’s not to love? And what about the gardening? Have you done that? You have to go to work tomorrow, and don’t forget that meeting. And the garden. And shopping, don’t forget the shopping.

Me: Can we go to bed now?

Brain: Maybe later. I bet there’s a good movie on. And there’s chocolate in the cupboard isn’t there?

Me: Don’t start thinking about chocolate. I’ll never get any sleep.

Brain: Chocolate.

Me: …

Brain: Chocolate. It’s in the fridge.

Me: Yeah, I know.

Brain: Chocolate.

Me: Okay, okay. I’m getting up.

Brain: Great. But don’t stay up all night. You should get some sleep.



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