My daughter told me yesterday that she loves udders. I was vaguely alarmed, but okay, she’s a little like her dad in that she chooses to love unexpected and often unpopular things. So I decided to just go with it.
“So what makes you love them?”
“They’re adorable. And the way they nurture the little ones is so great.”
“Yeah, that’s true. I guess they do. They give milk I s’pose.”
“Well they are mammals, so yeah.”
We looked at each other across the table. I took a sip of coffee. I looked at the wall, then the floor and cleared my throat.
“Don’t you love them?” she asked, a look of hopeful innocence on her face.
I let out a long breath and took another, thinking how important it is to support your children through all of their passions and loves – no matter how strange you find them. But then, encouraging them in their more bizarre tastes could go pear-shaped quite quickly.
So I took the bull by the horns. “Well. I gotta say not really. I mean, cows are cute, but let’s not go crazy on their big rubbery weird bits.”
“Udders. They’re rubbery. And weird. Not sure why you love them, actually. I’ve tried to be a supportive mother, but I think a love of udders is more than a little odd even for this family, don’t you? Wouldn’t you prefer to love something cute like piglets in tea cups or baby rabbits? Even a llama in a top hat would be preferable. And I mean, they spit, so it’s gotta be – ”
My husband yelled across the house. “OTTERS. She said OTTERS.”