I may have a few issues I need to sweep further under the carpet

My daughter told me yesterday that she loves udders. I was vaguely alarmed, but okay, she’s a little like her dad in that she chooses to love unexpected and often unpopular things. So I decided to just go with it.

“So what makes you love them?”

“They’re adorable. And the way they nurture the little ones is so great.”

“Yeah, that’s true. I guess they do. They give milk I s’pose.”

“Well they are mammals, so yeah.”

“Okay then.”

We looked at each other across the table. I took a sip of coffee. I looked at the wall, then the floor and cleared my throat.

“Don’t you love them?” she asked, a look of hopeful innocence on her face.

I let out a long breath and took another, thinking how important it is to support your children through all of their passions and loves – no matter how strange you find them. But then, encouraging them in their more bizarre tastes could go pear-shaped quite quickly.

So I took the bull by the horns. “Well. I gotta say not really. I mean, cows are cute, but let’s not go crazy on their big rubbery weird bits.”


“Udders. They’re rubbery. And weird. Not sure why you love them, actually. I’ve tried to be a supportive mother, but I think a love of udders is more than a little odd even for this family, don’t you? Wouldn’t you prefer to love something cute like piglets in tea cups or baby rabbits? Even a llama in a top hat would be preferable. And I mean, they spit, so it’s gotta be – ”

My husband yelled across the house. “OTTERS. She said OTTERS.”




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