When the cat uses his tray, I pretend not to notice and wait for someone to say, “Gee, I better go change the litter box.” And I would then say, “Oh goodness! I didn’t notice! Are you sure? Okay then, thanks so much. I’ll be here just filing my nails.”
This is not how it generally occurs. Instead, it’s rather more like this:
Molly: Oh, God. My eyes are burning.
Husband (doubled over, heaving): It’s worse than the smell of your cooking!
Molly: Yeah, it’s worse than that chicken and broccoli dish.
Me: We don’t speak of that one, remember?
Husband: No, but you have to admit, it’s worse.
Me: Come on guys, it’s just a poop.
Molly: It’s not just a poop. It’s demonic sludge from the ninth realm of Hell.
Husband (clutching his heart): It’s almost like he hates us. Why doesn’t he just go outside? There’s a cat door right next to the litter box.
Me (stifling my gag reflex): I repeat. It’s just a poop.
Husband: No. It’s not.
Me: Well can’t someone else do it this time? Just once?
Molly: Do what? Call the exterminators?
Husband (after a sigh): Okay then. I’ll do it.
Me: Aw, thanks honey.
Darryl: No, I meant that I’ll call the exterminators.
Me: Fine. I’ll go clean up the toxic sludge then.
Husband: Goodbye, my love.
I don the Breathing Apparatus and HAZMAT tool (aka handkerchief and poop scoop) and get to work.
And I resolutely ignore the giggles coming from the other end of the house.
Megspot 
20 years ago, I pulled the “I’m pregnant–cat litter is bad for the baby” and I haven’t cleaned the litter box since:-)
LikeLiked by 4 people
Oh, you clever thing! Wish I’d thought of it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Too funny – and too true! Sometimes it’s overpowering. I break out the roof freshener spray, odd bits of perfumes, and light some incense on those days! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
sorry ‘ room’ freshener spray!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good call. Have you tried a tornado-strength fan? Seems to work to get it over to the neighbour’s house anyway…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very funny. I have two cats, and two liter boxes, and couldn’t have said it better.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Two cats! Double the fun! Good luck to you, sir.
LikeLike
It’s like that in my house, too. I have 5 cats. Who always cleans it? Me. Because apparently no one else can smell it and if they do, they sit and bitch about how bad it smells! Drives me mad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Classic. Go put the litter box under their beds. That will show them…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Never thought of that! Lol!
LikeLiked by 1 person
both my cats go outside…they go right out the dog door..and only come back inside for food and sitting in top of the computer keyboard.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think he does it because he loves to see us in agony. He confirms his supremacy by watching us squirm.
LikeLike
I really like cats but I don’t like litter boxes. So, I’m cat-less.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good choice. Always go with the choice that doesn’t involve putrid stench.
LikeLike
I’ve never owned a cat. You’ve done nothing here to make me consider sharing my life with a cat. For that, I am grateful. Thanks 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
Any time! Yes, owning a cat is challenging and actually not very rewarding…
LikeLiked by 1 person
If I was going to share my life with a cat, I’d like a tiger. I feel like I could respect a tiger.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh yes! You might get devoured, but it would certainly be fun until that day!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t like doing things in half measures. A scratch or bite from a tiger is a proper injury.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As is a disembowelment. Yes, I can see you are a man of true dedication. I recommend a small budgie.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You mean a big wedge-tailed eagle 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, I meant a big wedge-tailed eagle. I see there is nothing anyone can do to discourage you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The only thing that would dissuade me is the amount of faeces from these large companion animals. Can you imagine what a tiger would leave behind?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, a femur would be hard to explain to the neighbours
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have never had an indoor cat but I used to work with a client that had two and I had to change the litter box…I would try to hold my breath for as long as I could as I scoop it up. But as the life long owner of multiply dogs I can unequivocally tell you that dog diarrhea at 3am in the morning that runs down your unlevel kitchen floor and goes under and behind the stove and fridge is way worse than any cat poop in the littler box story! Oh the gross dog stories I could tell…..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh that’s so gross! I’ve had dog vomit on my lap – in a lovely warm sausage shape that trembled slightly before it slid off onto my foot. So fun!
LikeLike
I so agree! I feel like telling my mom multiple times a day to clean out the box and having 2 cats… 🤢!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Double the puke! Lucky you!
LikeLiked by 1 person