When Molly was in grade two, her teacher called me aside to tell me that she and her BFF had been in a bit of an argument, but neither girl would talk about why. The teacher went on to say that the other girl had said that Molly called her a B-word.
A B-word?
When I had sufficiently recovered from my shock, I asked Molly why she would call anyone a B-word.
“Because she is!” Her chin began to tremble, so I decided to leave it until she was a little calmer. No point in provoking a string of expletives in front of the teacher.
The following day, the mother of the other girl met me outside the classroom.
“So Molly called my daughter a B-word.”
“I know. I’m so sorry – I don’t even know where she would have heard it. I can’t imagine what she was thinking!”
The mother didn’t look convinced. She bit her lip and looked at me, then her child. I was wondering how I was going to handle a swearing match between six-year-olds (or the mothers) in the school grounds without making the teacher and the other mums think I was the worst mother on Earth.
I cleared my throat.
I sniffed.
I took a deep breath.
“Molly?” I said gently. “Why did you call your friend a B-Word?”
“Because she was.”
“So were you!” screamed the other child.
“You’re bossier than me!” retorted Molly.
Wait, what?
“Sweetheart,” I said carefully, hazarding a glance at the mother. “What was the actual word you used?”
“I said she’s bossy. And she is! She told me I had to be the Mum – when it was my turn to be the baby.”
And both girls began to cry again.
“Oh, I see,” I said, smothering the giggle that was trying to erupt. “Well, do you think maybe you could be the baby today and not worry about what happened yesterday?”
“I guess,” said Molly sniffing back a few tears.
“And what about you?” the other mum asked her daughter.
There was a few moments of silence (in which I held my breath) before she smiled. “Yes,” she said. “Come on, Molly. I’ll be the Mum today!”
The girls held hands, giggled and ran into the classroom.
I released the breath and wiped my palms on my jeans. I’d dodged the stigma of being THAT parent.
Of course, I have yet to dodge the other stigmas, but hey – I still have a few years of schooling left for those.
Seriously? The teacher couldn’t SAY that word? What the heck is wrong with HER?! Lol.
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Ha ha! I think she possibly has been around children quite a lot!
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In her defense, I’m guessing the teacher may not have known or even asked which B-word was used.
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Exactly. I think she was as confused as any of us!
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A ‘gateway ‘B-word’! 😀
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LOL!!!!
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A B-Word, lol! :’) What kind of teacher falls over “bossy” so much she can’t repeat it? Maybe she just wanted to provoke, lol!
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Ha ha! I had always thought that’s what the girls said to her – and that all three of us assumed the wrong word. I never really asked! Ha ha ha! I think it would be awesome if she was playing though…or not perhaps.
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Reminds me of when my son who was 5 or so tattling on another kid at the playground. Said the kid said the S word and his mom snatched him up and left. Later found out that the S word in his mind is ‘shut up.’
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Yes, I was often accused of swearing when I would say “stupid”. So proud of my foul mouth!
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Haha!
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Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:
My Featured Blogger this week is Meg Clift of the blog site Megspot. Meg doesn’t blog often, but when she does it’s a worth-the-wait installment in the continuing adventures of a bemused and oh-so human humorist.
Meg’s Bio: “I live in rural Victoria with a small mini-me, long-suffering husband and two narcissistic, psychotic cats.”
Meg also posts these rave reviews:
“She’s a bit weird.” ~Comment from boy in grade 7
“You’re a bit weird.” ~Husband
“Don’t worry Mum, you’re not that bad.” ~Daughter
“Can you stop staring at me?” ~Random man on train
Jump off the Meg Clift today! (Yeah, I know, that was lame.)
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Thanks Mitch! I’m so chuffed you like it. Thanks to all who had a peep too! xx
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The honor’s mine, Meg.
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Hilarious! 🙂 I’m glad Mitch featured your blog.
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Thanks Bill! Glad you enjoyed it.
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Ha! Better than when my daughter was called an actual B-word, or in her words, “Well, she either called me a witch, a b****, or a ditch.”
In all fairness, it could have been the ditch.
Then again, there was the time my neighbor’s boy who practically lived here as much as there at the time, was accused of saying bad words by another neighbor. When I asked my daughter what he’d said, she warned me that she would have to say some nasty words to tell me. Then she told me that he sang songs about going pee and poop.
Nasty words indeed. lol!
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Hilarious! Pee and poop – the mainstays of any truly inappropriate behaviour..!
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Shocking. Truly shocking. 😉
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Ah, yes, the scatological phase. Hopefully, your son outgrew it.
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Lol!
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Wonderful story
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Thank you! I love making people laugh. Hopefully it gave you a giggle
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Show me the follow button…. lol
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So glad you like it! Let me know if you can’t follow and still want to.
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So fun…and what a relief! 😍💕
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Thank you!
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And here I thought this was going to be a serious post with parenting advice. I’m so glad it wasn’t!
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So glad you enjoyed my “advice”, that’s for sure!
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🙂
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