I’ve never been able to relax around attractive people – somehow I blurt crazy cat-lady anecdotes or laugh like a hyena at their bad jokes. But I do try to behave like someone with social skills. For example, at the local cafe is a gorgeous creature – one who could be carved from the marble … More Take your handsome self and leave me, foul demon
You know those moments when you get up early and take your first gulp of coffee for the morning, then remember you ate the last pickle the night before and left the jar of pickle-juice-and-floaty-bits right where you normally keep your coffee? Yeah, those moments.
At the age of eight, I watched Jaws through the crack in the bedroom door. Next morning when Mum asked how I slept, I asked for coffee…and thus began my addiction to caffeine and – although not sure it’s related – my insomnia. For the next few months, bath time required there to be within … More The thought crosses my mind that my problem-solving skills could be better
You know those moments when you should be working on your next project and you get distracted by a new candy-popping game, and suddenly it’s 4am and you haven’t done a thing? And then you reach for your coffee, realise it’s empty, but then understand it was only half empty after all when cold coffee … More Would have made a good YouTube clip?
Normally when I’m trying to impress someone with my stellar wit and intelligence, I end up saying something like, “Sausages are awkwardly shaped, aren’t they?” or “I wanted to be a nurse until I realised people have gross hairy bits.” Alternatively, I trip, bump into things or spill soup down my front. But not today. … More Things happen…All the time
Last night I dreamed I had the eyes of a goat – horizontal stripes, bright yellow orbs, stubby eyelashes and all. The rest of me was me, but the eyes were just plain weird. What was the message behind the dream – that I should do something about my facial hair before I grow a … More Message to the goat lady
I was told about an amazing guy who runs a guided meditation session in the hall each Friday, and already has a string of (mostly female) followers. Suddenly, all my friends are wearing baggy pants and amber beads and saying things like, “So deep. So truly profound,” and staring pensively at the clouds passing over … More Guru Games
“Why has no one invented a coffee dispenser that can read your mind, start making the coffee, and deliver it to the bedside table even before you open your eyes?” I whined. “That’s what I’m for,” said my husband. “No you’re not, silly. You’re not just a coffee dispenser.” I smiled. He returned it and … More Decaf mornings