My ex used to say – probably more often than he should have – “There’s a reason your finger is exactly the same size as your nostril.” That’s the sort of exes I’ve had. Now, I know that says a lot about me, but before you judge, bear in mind that they are exes for … More Ex-tinguish


It was a normal Saturday. I had scrubbed the cat vomit off the step, hand-washed the dog blanket (covering me in fur in the process), bathed the guinea pigs and re-potted the dying herbs (like that was going to save them). I was, of course, filthy and smelled like wet dog. While I scoffed a chocolate bar … More Ex-terminate