Fighting my way past tour groups of over-perfumed seniors on my way to the gallery canteen, I spied an artwork that left an indelible mark on my poor uncultured brain. A small group was clustered around an oversize painting, so I hazarded a glance. A single streak of brown, three drops of red and a … More When things look like other things but you shouldn’t say it in case you get chased with a pitchfork
When my elderly neighbour, Walt, went to visit his daughter for a few weeks, I volunteered to look after his garden. After a lengthy conversation and several panicked glances over to my yard, he stopped arguing, nodded wearily and pointed out where he kept the bug spray, hoe and sprinklers. The first week sailed by. I … More A little accident in the garden
At the age of eight, I watched Jaws through the crack in the bedroom door. Next morning when Mum asked how I slept, I asked for coffee…and thus began my addiction to caffeine and – although not sure it’s related – my insomnia. For the next few months, bath time required there to be within … More The thought crosses my mind that my problem-solving skills could be better
You know those moments when you’re talking to someone with several lengthy hairs growing out of a mole on his chin, and you can’t concentrate on anything else? And he clocks you looking, and you know he has but there’s nothing in the world but you and his chin? And then, when you try to … More Don’t look. Whatever you do, don’t look
My daughter told me yesterday that she loves udders. I was vaguely alarmed, but okay, she’s a little like her dad in that she chooses to love unexpected and often unpopular things. So I decided to just go with it. “So what makes you love them?” “They’re adorable. And the way they nurture the little … More I may have a few issues I need to sweep further under the carpet
When garden-timers need replacing….
Sometimes I wonder how long I’d have made it in a prehistoric world. I think I’d have been wiped from the gene pool fairly quickly in some sort of spectacularly tragic accident. Perhaps I would have been silently stalked by something with sabre teeth as I foraged, or been poisoned while tasting the new red … More My history in prehistory
You know those moments when you see the cat running away from something but then realise it ate the mince that was defrosting on the sink and it’s not really running away, but trying to poop out the bag it swallowed whole instead? And how you begin to understand you’re going to have to help … More Never trust your cat with unattended food
It’s important to challenge yourself in life. To that end, I made a concerted effort to have no minor – or major – accidents for a week. Really watch where I was going and avoid everything that may be a potential hazard. And for someone like me (see my other posts), that’s never going to … More Blissful days of normality
His eyes positively lit up when he was fed notes.