I’ve never been able to relax around attractive people – somehow I blurt crazy cat-lady anecdotes or laugh like a hyena at their bad jokes. But I do try to behave like someone with social skills. For example, at the local cafe is a gorgeous creature – one who could be carved from the marble … More Take your handsome self and leave me, foul demon
A normal day – I’d groaned and rolled out of bed later than I should, scraped the cat hair out of my mouth, and was greeted by my eleven-year-old wearing T-Rex slippers and chocolate smears on her lips. “Been up a while?” I asked her. “Nope. Just got out of bed.” “So the chocolate is … More Revenge on the cowardly
Trying to explain to the cops that I wasn’t drunk wasn’t easy, given I was wearing a plastic garbage bag, one heel, and a feather boa. I was, admittedly, holding a tumbler of vodka and apple juice, but it wasn’t mine, officer – honest. The kindly officers were about to drive me home when my then-boyfriend … More I’m not drunk! Well, maybe a little
You know when you’re not very good at something and someone comes along and shows you how it’s done? It’s a crushing defeat knowing you’ll never be very good, but you smile politely and say, “Wow, you’re amazing. Really.” And you go home and eat a packet of Tim Tams, pace furiously and think about how you can get … More Some things are worth it?