When my elderly neighbour, Walt, went to visit his daughter for a few weeks, I volunteered to look after his garden. After a lengthy conversation and several panicked glances over to my yard, he stopped arguing, nodded wearily and pointed out where he kept the bug spray, hoe and sprinklers. The first week sailed by. I … More A little accident in the garden
You know those moments when your friend asks you to dress up for her kid’s party, and she says, “Come as your favourite De Niro”, so you spend hours finding the right mohawk wig and give yourself a black eye with some freaky makeup, then arrive stating “Ta da! Taxi Driver!” And when, after a … More A little over-enthusiasm never hurt anyone. Humiliate, but not hurt.
You know those moments when you invite the neighbour ’round for dinner next Friday and they arrive this Friday when you’re in your pyjamas and half way through a pepperoni pizza? Yeah, those moments.
It’s important to challenge yourself in life. To that end, I made a concerted effort to have no minor – or major – accidents for a week. Really watch where I was going and avoid everything that may be a potential hazard. And for someone like me (see my other posts), that’s never going to … More Blissful days of normality
His eyes positively lit up when he was fed notes.
I had to go into the police station to collect a set of keys I’d lost. Easy, right? Wrong. I entered the monolith full of law-enforcing scary people and was ordered to sit by the eyebrow behind the desk. I did as I was told, determined not to do the verbal-diarrhoea thing, the tripping over thing or … More The Station
You know those moments when you should be working on your next project and you get distracted by a new candy-popping game, and suddenly it’s 4am and you haven’t done a thing? And then you reach for your coffee, realise it’s empty, but then understand it was only half empty after all when cold coffee … More Would have made a good YouTube clip?
Normally when I’m trying to impress someone with my stellar wit and intelligence, I end up saying something like, “Sausages are awkwardly shaped, aren’t they?” or “I wanted to be a nurse until I realised people have gross hairy bits.” Alternatively, I trip, bump into things or spill soup down my front. But not today. … More Things happen…All the time
Last night I dreamed I had the eyes of a goat – horizontal stripes, bright yellow orbs, stubby eyelashes and all. The rest of me was me, but the eyes were just plain weird. What was the message behind the dream – that I should do something about my facial hair before I grow a … More Message to the goat lady
I was invited to a school fete. Inside me said, no way, you’re not going to that – it’s all finger-painted ice-cream sticks and mothers racking up brownie points from the principal. But outside me smiled politely and said, sure, I’d love to support the local school. Even if the kids do smell like home-made … More Sucker punch