I think there’s some sort of Doctor Who monster thingy living in my car.
On the first date with my husband, I spilled water on his trousers. On the second, it was coffee on the hand. There followed a pretzel in the eye (don’t ask), dog puke in his lap (really don’t ask), and a home cooked meal that was more like over-salted charcoal (the usual, I’m afraid). And … More Fair warning
Some days I think I know how celebrities feel – all those people following them around…
The “see how she’s settling in” interview with my daughter’s principal was due. Wanting to make a good impression, I wore a dress – something I don’t do normally. I also added makeup and heels. The professional look, you know. “Please don’t, Mum. You know how you are in heels. And that makeup makes you look funny.” … More The Principal
Sometimes I wonder if my toothbrush holder is afraid of me.
Jigsaw puzzles. The invention of demons from the ninth dimension of hell… After several hours staring at about 736 plain blue pieces and trying to connect them in some order, I decided it was time for the scissors. “Mum, you can’t do that.” “Why not?” “Because then the picture won’t fit together. And it’s cheating. … More Puzzle (not) fun
Is this grater happy to be out of the pantry, or just waiting for me to grate my fingers into the cheese?
What sadist invented musical chairs? You prance around an ever-diminishing set of chairs in the hope no one accuses you of ‘crowding’, sees your dance moves, or pushes you headlong into another participant. And in the end, everyone resents the winner, and the players win a crappy plastic bracelet each. What kind of game is that? … More Musical chairs
At the sound of my recycling being topped up, my neighbour – walking past with her chihuahua – gave me a malevolent stare, her mouth shaped like a cat bum while she looked down her rather ogre-ish nose at me. “Heh, heh,” I said before scuttling inside to hide behind the curtain until she disappeared. … More Neighbours…Am I Right?
I can’t even leave my home without people watching me. So I crossed the road to look. Just to make sure I wasn’t imagining it… Ooookaaay.