My daughter has a bird named “Fluffy, Destroyer of Worlds”. He doesn’t quite live up to his name but he can be, shall we say – feisty? Problem is, to enter Molly’s room one has to pass right by his home. It’s wise to take treats. “Hello Destroyer, how are you today, my sweet little … More Pets. The question is why?
You know those moments when you see the cat running away from something but then realise it ate the mince that was defrosting on the sink and it’s not really running away, but trying to poop out the bag it swallowed whole instead? And how you begin to understand you’re going to have to help … More Never trust your cat with unattended food
Leading by example isn’t always as easy as looking busy or volunteering at bingo. When my daughter said she wanted to be a chef, I – being the great role model that I am – thought I’d show her what that may entail. Now before you hold your breath in anticipation of the suspected disaster that … More Being superwoman could be a little easier
“It must be time for cake,” I said. “We’ve been working for a whole hour.” “But you just had cake.” “Yes, but I only had a small slice. And it’s sponge which means it’s mostly just air. Besides, it’ll go stale if we don’t eat it.” “Things don’t go stale in an hour.” “You don’t … More Cake
On the first date with my husband, I spilled water on his trousers. On the second, it was coffee on the hand. There followed a pretzel in the eye (don’t ask), dog puke in his lap (really don’t ask), and a home cooked meal that was more like over-salted charcoal (the usual, I’m afraid). And … More Fair warning
I’d been looking for matching socks that the dryer hadn’t eaten, when I ventured under my daughter’s bed. Big. Mistake. Reaching into the darkness, I placed my hand on something that sent shivers racing down my spine. I withdrew as if I’d been bitten. I went in again and pulled it forth into the light. It was furry. Green-grey. Powdery … More It smells like cheese
I know I’m not a good cook. I know I’m not even a bad cook. I am a stunningly awful cook who should never be allowed near a kitchen. Everything I touch turns to black sludge, or, if I’m lucky, grey swill. I watch cooking shows and admire the dishes of perfection that are presented like holy … More Not-so-epic fail