“It must be time for cake,” I said. “We’ve been working for a whole hour.” “But you just had cake.” “Yes, but I only had a small slice. And it’s sponge which means it’s mostly just air. Besides, it’ll go stale if we don’t eat it.” “Things don’t go stale in an hour.” “You don’t … More Cake

Fair warning

On the first date with my husband, I spilled water on his trousers. On the second, it was coffee on the hand. There followed a pretzel in the eye (don’t ask), dog puke in his lap (really don’t ask), and a home cooked meal that was more like over-salted charcoal (the usual, I’m afraid). And … More Fair warning

It smells like cheese

I’d been looking for matching socks that the dryer hadn’t eaten, when I ventured under my daughter’s bed. Big. Mistake. Reaching into the darkness, I placed my hand on something that sent shivers racing down my spine. I withdrew as if I’d been bitten. I went in again and pulled it forth into the light. It was furry. Green-grey. Powdery … More It smells like cheese

Not-so-epic fail

I know I’m not a good cook. I know I’m not even a bad cook. I am a stunningly awful cook who should never be allowed near a kitchen. Everything I touch turns to black sludge, or, if I’m lucky, grey swill. I watch cooking shows and admire the dishes of perfection that are presented like holy … More Not-so-epic fail