Why isn’t there a help column for people like me? With topics like: Gardening tips for the pale-skinned arachnophobe. How to parent without endangering your child, husband, neighbours or other community members. What to do when a spider is on your ceiling (alternative title: Why hitting your husband’s head with a shoe and setting fire … More Life hacks for the socially deficient
Me: It’s 11pm. Could you be a bit quieter please? Brain: No way, we need to think about all the stuff that might happen in the next week. Me: We can plan a bit, but it’s really important that we get some sleep. Brain: Yeah, sure. But what if you lose your job tomorrow? Me: … More Conversation between me and my brain
Kids are great for your self-esteem. What Mum isn’t chuffed when their daughter tells them they look like a butterfly? “Aw, thanks honey,” said I, slightly blushing. “Yeah,” she said. “Your arms are all droopy – just like butterfly wings. Weeee! Flap, flap, flap!” I smiled tightly and patted her on the head. “Yes, Mummy is a … More Kids are so…
I was told about an amazing guy who runs a guided meditation session in the hall each Friday, and already has a string of (mostly female) followers. Suddenly, all my friends are wearing baggy pants and amber beads and saying things like, “So deep. So truly profound,” and staring pensively at the clouds passing over … More Guru Games
You know when you’re not very good at something and someone comes along and shows you how it’s done? It’s a crushing defeat knowing you’ll never be very good, but you smile politely and say, “Wow, you’re amazing. Really.” And you go home and eat a packet of Tim Tams, pace furiously and think about how you can get … More Some things are worth it?
Personal. Training. Two words that can strike fear into even the most courageous. But I sign up anyway, imagining the taut, toned and undeniably terrific bod I’ll show off next summer. In just a few sessions, right? Sooooo wrong…….. First session. Try to run. Fail badly because my sports bra has too much give and I can feel my chest … More Torture by invoice