When my elderly neighbour, Walt, went to visit his daughter for a few weeks, I volunteered to look after his garden. After a lengthy conversation and several panicked glances over to my yard, he stopped arguing, nodded wearily and pointed out where he kept the bug spray, hoe and sprinklers. The first week sailed by. I … More A little accident in the garden
At the sound of my recycling being topped up, my neighbour – walking past with her chihuahua – gave me a malevolent stare, her mouth shaped like a cat bum while she looked down her rather ogre-ish nose at me. “Heh, heh,” I said before scuttling inside to hide behind the curtain until she disappeared. … More Neighbours…Am I Right?
Me: It’s 11pm. Could you be a bit quieter please? Brain: No way, we need to think about all the stuff that might happen in the next week. Me: We can plan a bit, but it’s really important that we get some sleep. Brain: Yeah, sure. But what if you lose your job tomorrow? Me: … More Conversation between me and my brain
After going outside this morning to discover I had killed yet another plant, my mood had taken a nose-dive. I’d stared at the pot’s browning, leafless contents and decided that I needed chocolate. Three Tim Tams and a Caramel Koala later, the pot still haunted me and my guilty, inadequate conscience decided that immediate retail … More Conversation in a shoe store
“Is it my fault the chickens ate my homework?” “It is when you smear it with honey and seed and leave it in the chicken coop.” “I had to. I hate algebra.” “You think the chickens don’t?” “I saw Bock-Bock scratching triangles in the dirt. I just put two and two together.” “Did you … More Counting chickens