My ex used to say – probably more often than he should have – “There’s a reason your finger is exactly the same size as your nostril.” That’s the sort of exes I’ve had. Now, I know that says a lot about me, but before you judge, bear in mind that they are exes for … More Ex-tinguish


I went to the park today. A young couple were watching their son on the swing, and having what looked like an interesting conversation, so of course, I eavesdropped. “That’s a tree?” the man said. “Yeah it’s a tree,” she said. “No way. I mean, what the fuck?” “I think they’re aerial roots.” “Meaning it … More Tree-mendous