It’s nice to be outside. For limited periods. Like once a fortnight, for eight minutes tops. But sometimes, there’s an outdoor wedding, a picnic, a cat-in-a-drain rescue – that sort of thing – and you have to put aside your feelings of doom and just go…or people will suspect you have some sort of phobia … More Starts as fun, ends up being myself as usual
“Is it my fault the chickens ate my homework?” “It is when you smear it with honey and seed and leave it in the chicken coop.” “I had to. I hate algebra.” “You think the chickens don’t?” “I saw Bock-Bock scratching triangles in the dirt. I just put two and two together.” “Did you … More Counting chickens
I went to the park today. A young couple were watching their son on the swing, and having what looked like an interesting conversation, so of course, I eavesdropped. “That’s a tree?” the man said. “Yeah it’s a tree,” she said. “No way. I mean, what the fuck?” “I think they’re aerial roots.” “Meaning it … More Tree-mendous
People say it’s healthy and fun to be outdoors. WRONG. The last time I went on a dedicated outdoors excursion, was long before I was married. I went because a friend begged me to come, and there happened to be a gorgeous gentleman also attending. NOT because I thought, “oh yeah, hey, let’s go traipsing off … More Avoiding the outdoors…at least in heels
