I volunteered for canteen duties at the primary school, thinking some brownie points wouldn’t go astray after the last episode with the principal. I was imagining canteen ladies like when I was at school – big smiles, flappy arms and floral dresses. I wasn’t prepared for heavy make-up, impeccable dress senses and an intolerance for … More Canteen ladies, eggplant and an unfortunate accident with some rockets
You know those moments when you’re talking to someone with several lengthy hairs growing out of a mole on his chin, and you can’t concentrate on anything else? And he clocks you looking, and you know he has but there’s nothing in the world but you and his chin? And then, when you try to … More Don’t look. Whatever you do, don’t look
I had to go into the police station to collect a set of keys I’d lost. Easy, right? Wrong. I entered the monolith full of law-enforcing scary people and was ordered to sit by the eyebrow behind the desk. I did as I was told, determined not to do the verbal-diarrhoea thing, the tripping over thing or … More The Station
Everyone knows not to walk between trees in Australia. Or under them. Or anywhere near them before dawn. Or after dawn if we’re being honest. It was a beautiful night, a sliver of moon nestled in the infinite stars above. I was looking up at this glorious view on my way to check the mailbox … More Nature. So…
I think there’s some sort of Doctor Who monster thingy living in my car.
Some days I think I know how celebrities feel – all those people following them around…
Sometimes I wonder if my toothbrush holder is afraid of me.
I can’t even leave my home without people watching me. So I crossed the road to look. Just to make sure I wasn’t imagining it… Ooookaaay.
Don’t look now, but I think my sink is watching me. Perhaps I’m too paranoid?
Trust is an interesting thing, isn’t it? I mean, we trust that the guy flipping our burger hasn’t had his finger up his nose moments before. We trust that the barista hasn’t spat in our coffee because she didn’t like the way we paid with ten-cent coins and pocket lint, promising to pay her the … More Trust issues