At the sound of my recycling being topped up, my neighbour – walking past with her chihuahua – gave me a malevolent stare, her mouth shaped like a cat bum while she looked down her rather ogre-ish nose at me. “Heh, heh,” I said before scuttling inside to hide behind the curtain until she disappeared. … More Neighbours…Am I Right?
My ex used to say – probably more often than he should have – “There’s a reason your finger is exactly the same size as your nostril.” That’s the sort of exes I’ve had. Now, I know that says a lot about me, but before you judge, bear in mind that they are exes for … More Ex-tinguish
Trying to explain to the cops that I wasn’t drunk wasn’t easy, given I was wearing a plastic garbage bag, one heel, and a feather boa. I was, admittedly, holding a tumbler of vodka and apple juice, but it wasn’t mine, officer – honest. The kindly officers were about to drive me home when my then-boyfriend … More I’m not drunk! Well, maybe a little